" What Svetlana felt for Scott, she said, wasn't a crush, but love. "A crush is about build-
ing up the self, and love is about giving from the self. For love, you have to have a self you're secure with, to give to the other person." I silently absorbed the implication that what I felt for Ivan was only a crush, because I didn't have a self I was secure with. "

― Elif Batuman , Either/Or