QUOTE : i have this productivity anxiety<br />that everyone else is working harder than me<br />and i’m going to be left behind<br />cause i’m not working fast enough<br />long enough<br />and i’m wasting my time<br /><br />i don’t sit down to have breakfast<br />i take it to go<br />i call my mother when i’m free—otherwise<br />it takes too long to have a conversation<br /><br /><b>i put off everything that<br />won’t bring me closer to my dreams<br />as if the things i’m putting off<br />are not the dream themselves</b><br /><br />isn’t the dream<br />that i have a mother to call<br />and a table to eat breakfast at<br /><br />instead i’m lost in the sick need<br />to optimize every hour of my day<br />so i’m improving in some way<br />making money in some way<br />advancing my career in some way<br />because that’s what it takes<br />to be successful<br />right<br /><br />i excavate my life<br />package it up<br />sell it to the world<br />[...]<br /><br />capitalism got inside my head<br />and made me think my only value<br />is how much i produce<br />for people to consume<br /><b>capitalism got inside my head<br />and made me think<br />i am of worth<br />as long as i am working</b><br /><br />i learned impatience from it<br />i learned self-doubt from it<br />learned to plant seeds in the ground<br />and expect flowers the next day<br /><br />but magic<br />doesn’t work like that<br />magic doesn’t happen<br />cause i’ve figured out how to<br />pack more work in a day<br />magic moves<br />by the laws of nature<br />and nature has its own clock<br />magic happens<br />when we play<br />when we escape<br />daydream and imagine<br />that’s where everything<br />with the power to fulfill us<br />is waiting on its knees for us<br /><br />- <i>productivity anxiety</i>