" Having and authentic voice means that:
- We can openly share competence as well as problems and vulnerability.
- We can warm things up and calm them down.
- We can listen and ask questions that allow us to truly know the other person and to gather information about anything that may affect us.
- We can say what we think and feel, state differences, and allow the other person to do the same.
- We can define our values, convictions, principles, and priorities, and do our best to act in accordance with them.
- We can define what we feel entitled to in a relationship, and we can clarify the limits of what we will tolerate or accept in another’s behavior.
- We can leave (meaning that we can financially and emotionally support ourselves), if necessary. "
― Harriet Lerner , The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
