" I don't always think I'm a good person. But telling people this only makes them want to prove me wrong, and the more they try to prove me wrong, the more I want to push them away, but the more I push them away, the guiltier I get, the nicer I become, the more they think I've changed. It never lasts. In the end I learn to hate both myself and them for things that should have lasted no longer than a few hours.' She reflected on this. 'Maybe a few nights. Inky and I could have stayed friends.'
'This is the most twisted thing you've said so far'
'What, that being kind to people makes me want to hurt them? Or that hurting them makes me want to be kind? "

― André Aciman , Eight White Nights