" It’s not that I don’t like children; I just don’t comprehend them. What’s their purpose? Why can’t they just say what they want? Why are they always touching things and knocking things over and whining?”

She dumped a basket of socks on the floor and began to sort and match. “Here’s the thing: Given your profession, you should have that skill of observing people and getting inside them and understanding them, blah blah blah. Why can’t you just do that with children? I mean, you were a child once.”

“I hatched from an egg at age twenty-three.”

“I almost believe you.” She squinted at him. “What were you like younger?”

“Same but smaller, with slightly less facial hair. "

― Shannon Hale , The Actor and the Housewife