QUOTE : Ruby: I’ve decided. I’m putting my Gary on a diet.<br />Rosie: You’re putting him on a diet? How on earth can you control what your twenty-one-year-old son eats?<br />Ruby: Oh it’s easy; I’ll just nail down everything to the floor.<br />Rosie: So what kind of diet is it?<br />Ruby: I don’t know. I bought a magazine, but there are so many stupid diets out there I don’t know which one to pick. Remember that ridiculous one that you and I did last year? The alphabet one where we had to eat foods beginning with a certain letter every day?<br />Rosie: Oh yeah! How long did we do that for?!<br />Ruby: Em . . . that would be 26 days of course Rosie<br />Rosie: Oh . . . right . . . of course. You put on weight on the third day.<br />Ruby: That’s because the third day was the lucky letter “C” . . . Cakes . . . mmmm<br />Rosie: Well we made up for it on the last day. I was bloody starving on “Z” day; I was practically chasing zebras with a kitchen knife around the zoo. Could have eaten the zoo I suppose . . .<br />Ruby: You should have done what I did, I ate like a queen. I became German for the day and ate “ze cakes” and “ze buns.” Oh I don’t know Rosie. I think I’ll just invent a diet of my own and give those stupid magazines a run for their money