" When our caregivers are unavailable, most of time it has nothing to do with LOVE for the child, however, the child cannot possibly know this. The child winds up believing that the unavailable parent is not available due to some defect within the child. We believe that if we were “enough” the parent would CHOOSE to be available. "

― Mary Crocker Cook , Awakening Hope. a Developmental, Behavioral, Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment.