" You told me once,” said Kell, “that you were either magic’s master or its slave. So which are you now?”
The screaming died in Holland’s head, smothered by the hollow quiet he’d trained to take its place.
“That’s what you don’t understand,” said Holland, letting the emptiness fold over him. “I have only ever been its slave. "

― V.E. Schwab , A Gathering of Shadows (Shades of Magic, #2)