" Drawing near the family parlor, Marcus paused beside the half-open door as he heard his mother lecturing the Bowman sisters. Her complaint appeared to hinge upon the sisters’ habit of speaking to the footmen who served them at the dinner table.
“But why shouldn’t I thank someone for doing me a service?” he heard Lillian ask with genuine perplexity. “It’s polite to say thank you, isn’t it?”
“You should no more thank a servant than you would thank a horse for allowing you to ride it, or a table for bearing the dishes you place upon it.”
“Well, we’re not discussing animals or inanimate objects, are we? A footman is a person.”
“No,” the countess said coldly. “A footman is a servant.”
“And a servant is a person,” Lillian said stubbornly.
The elderly woman replied in exasperation. “Whatever your view of a footman is, you must not thank him at dinner. Servants neither expect nor desire such condescension, and if you insist on putting them in the awkward position of having to respond to your remarks, they will think badly of you…as will everyone else. Do not insult me with that vapid stare, Miss Bowman! You come from a family of means—surely you employed servants at your New York residence!”
“Yes,” Lillian acknowledged pertly, “but we talked to ours. "

― Lisa Kleypas , It Happened One Autumn (Wallflowers, #2)