" We are Volunteers Fighting Disease,
And we’re cheerful all day long.
If someone said that we were sad,
That person would be wrong. We visit people who are sick,
And try to make them smile,
Even if their noses bleed,
Or if they cough up bile. Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee, Hope you get well soon. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, Have a heart-shaped balloon. We visit people who are ill,
And try to make them laugh,
Even when the doctor says
He must saw them in half. We sing and sing all night and day,
And then we sing some more.
We sing to boys with broken bones
And girls whose throats are sore. Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee, Hope you get well soon. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, Have a heart-shaped balloon. We sing to men with measles,
And to women with the flu,
And if you breathe in deadly germs,
We’ll probably sing to you. Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee, Hope you get well soon. Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, Have a heart-shaped balloon. "

― Lemony Snicket , The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #8)