" The thirty-minute nap. When I heard a key in the door, I’d jump up, throw cold water on my face, smooth my clothes, pull the bedspread taut, stagger into the kitchen, and throw an onion in the oven. When my husband mentioned the chenille marks on my face, I’d lie and say, “It’s bad skin. "

― Erma Bombeck , Aunt Erma's Cope Book