" Jeremy’s T-Shirts by book:
Hard As It Gets
“ROUTE 69”
“This guy loves BACON” with two hands with their thumbs pointing back at him
“Orgasm Donor” with a red cross
Big Johnson’s Tattoo Parlor, “You’re going to feel more than a Little Prick”
“I’m not Santa but you can still sit on my lap”

Hard As You Can
Log-holding beaver that says, “Are you looking at my wood?”
“I put the long in schlong”

Hard to Hold On To
"Blink if you're horny"

Hard to Come By
Hand pointing downward and the words, "May I suggest the sausage?"
Charlie (who starts borrowing Jeremy's t-shirts): A smiling fire extinguished that says, "I put out"
Charlie: Schnauzer wearing a saddle that says, "Weiner Rides, 25 cents"
"HEAD Foundation. Please give generously"
Charlie: Mr. T with the words "Mr. T Shirt"
There's a party in my pants. You're invited. "

― Laura Kaye