QUOTE : had primed carefully for today. I mean, Lord Almighty, I had waxed. By the way, they tell you waxing stings, right? Well, they lie. Because it doesn’t just sting; holy hell—when Maria pulled off that first strip, I thought “That’s it, she tore off my vagina. There isn’t anything left to have sex with. My surrogate will just have to rub his dick up against the bleeding sashimi of what used to be my ladyparts.