" Linguist Robin Lakoff devised another set of rules that describe the motivations behind politeness—that is, how we adjust what we say to take into account its effects on others. Here they are as Lakoff presents them: 1. Don’t impose; keep your distance. 2. Give options; let the other person have a say. 3. Be friendly; maintain camaraderie. "

― Deborah Tannen , That's Not What I Meant!