" powerlessness in a relationship is one of the main causes of stress or anxiety. Making psychological changes also provokes anxiety. It’s very hard to break a habit, especially when you’ve adapted yourself to a particular pattern that, however maladaptive, has kept you alive. The unconscious is powerful, and it will fight to the death to keep an old pattern in place. "

― Catherine Gildiner , Good Morning, Monster: A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery