" MARY MAGDALENE: My name is Mary of Magdala. I was a disciple of Jesus, I was present at the crucifixion, and I was the first person He appeared to after the resurrection.
SAINT MONICA: Bitch got clout!
MARY MAGDALENE: I was one of the founders of the Christian faith, and I was known for my ability, in times of difficulty, to be able to turn the hearts of the Apostles towards the Good.
SAINT MONICA: The good!
MARY MAGDALENE: Some people think I was a whore.
SAINT MONICA: Misogynistic bitches!
MARY MAGDALENE: Other people think Jesus was my husband.
SAINT MONICA: Femin-o-tic bitches!
MARY MAGDALENE: I was not a whore.
SAINT MONICA: "Pimps up, Hos Down!"
MARY MAGDALENE: I was an unmarried woman in a town of ill repute.
SAINT MONICA: Ill repute!
MARY MAGDALENE: And also, I was not the wife of Jesus either.
SAINT MONICA: Still love ya!
MARY MAGDALENE: But, I am pretty sure that I was his best friend. We shared an intimacy that I cannot put into words except to say we saw into each other's hearts and were in love with what we found..... "

― Stephen Adly Guirgis , The Last Days of Judas Iscariot