" You are Nicholas Ivanek-Williams. But I’m guessing you don't use the whole name when on stage, yeah?”
“That's right.”
“Because you wouldn’t sound like a comedian, yeah?”
“I suppose.”
“Because you'd sound like an eastern European lawyer?”
“What’s wrong with being eastern European?”
He looked around theatrically as if playing to some invisible audience.
“Nothing,” he said innocently, “I was just saying that’s what you’d sound like in the milliseconds between your name being called out by the compere and the audience making their mind up about you. Interesting that you didn’t ask what’s wrong with being a lawyer though, isn’t it? You just focused on the other part.”
“I don’t like lawyers.”
“Nobody likes lawyers, Nick. Even lawyers don’t like lawyers, that’s why they’re always trying to put each other off by wearing those silly wigs. "

― Angelo Marcos , Victim Mentality