QUOTE : The next day she (Victoria) pulled down some of her old diaries, perhaps to recall Lezhen’s part of her life, and came to a passage in 1839 where she had written of her ‘happiness’ with Melbourne. Now, with both Melbourne and Lezhen gone she noted ‘1st October, 1842. Wrote & looked over & corrected my old journals, which do not now awake very pleasant feelings. The life I led then was so artificial & superficial, & yet I thought I was happy. Thank God! I now know what real happiness means.