" Much as I try not to find weirdos amongst the other passengers, I keep finding weirdos amongst the other passengers. Take this old woman yesterday, marching down the platform in front of me like she had a stick stuck up her arse. She had a face like an albino walnut. I didn’t know this at the time, of course, until I had cause to glance at her.
Anyway, she was marching along talking to someone, swinging her arm about, and just as I go to overtake her she swung her hand down-and-out and hit me in the dick!
I didn’t know what to do. "
― Karl Wiggins , Calico Jack in your Garden