" Dear Lord Wadsworth, esteemed Baron of Somerset,
I write to you under great duress. I cannot seem to properly ask to formally court your daughter and ought to be put out of my misery at once. Please send a vicious brood of vampire bats to dispatch me at your earliest convenience. It would clearly be an improvement over this letter…
Your daughter’s hopeful yet stupid suitor,
Thomas "
― Kerri Maniscalco , Becoming the Dark Prince (Stalking Jack the Ripper, #3.5)