" Nathan kept trying to reassure him. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Not to you. You can forget it, if you’d rather.”
Matt listened to Nathan’s heartbeat, fast and light like a deer flashing through sunshine and shadow. “Listen, Nathan…”
Nathan was silent, but Matt could feel the immediate tension down his spine.
“I loved Rachel with all my heart. You’re right, nothing changes that. But—I never wanted her the way I want you.”
Nathan slid out from under him, rolled over. His face was different, grave but sort of lit from within in a way that gave Matt a funny pain in his chest. "

― Josh Lanyon , Snowball in Hell (Doyle and Spain, #1)