" Here are the rules for five-star babysitting of the Craig’s
List high order:
1) Be firm, but willing to compromise; a half-hour of G.I Joe
or Pokemon after bedtime in exchange for a couple hours of peace
and quiet is more priceless than Van Gogh. Compromise. If you
give them something they want, they’ll end up tucked in before
the boyfriend sends you a sext message.
2) If compromise isn’t an option, go for Valium—or at least
Xanax. Most moms have it in the medicine cabinet. And if you mix
it with milk, you’ll still be good for happy hour.
3) When all else fails, go for broke: cry. Crying, for a nineyear-
old, is tantamount to getting whacked with a wooden spoon
until cookies give you PTSD.
But the biggest rule, the one that breaking will definitely
earn you a pink slip; the one you’d have to be a supreme
knucklehead or complete noob to break—the one thing in all of
the sitting profession that is the golden rule is: do not lose
the kid. That’s kind of the big one. "

― Daniel Younger